drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
