Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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