i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
