it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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