Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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