Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
