He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
