Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize