Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
