Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
