I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
