I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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