my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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