Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
