Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
