but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This is the high leading the old right now
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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