Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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