you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
