She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
