I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
