Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
