so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
