handjob tips. give me some.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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