This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
