four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
