you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
