totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
