Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
