i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
