you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize