I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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