I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
