babies were throwing up all over the place
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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