Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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