Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
