LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
