Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
