Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Drake has all the answers
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
