Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
