I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize