So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
