I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I died a long time ago.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
