operation harelip BJ is a go
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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