Where did you get a picture of my penis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
