gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
