we're chasing vodka with high fives
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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