I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
