I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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