Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize