so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
