Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
