you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize