I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
