Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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