OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize