Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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