Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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