Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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