That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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