Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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