Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
