LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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