and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
