Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
