Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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