We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
