drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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