I'm going to jail i love you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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