you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
