We're like a lot better than the average bears
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
